Ex called me a while back. I didn’t tell him that I was moving… I didn’t really think to.
I’ve passed the point where hearing his voice makes me roll in my gut. That hideous little snake of depression and anxiety that he always brought up has died. I can feel it rotting away sometimes when I think about how hard I tried to be straight and how it has obviously affected him. It’s his little slips that catch me biting my tongue, calling me “babe” out of that 15 year habit is one of them.
I can’t bring myself to be angry with him, not anymore. He’s screwed us both over in a multitude of ways, mine are mostly monetary aches that I just have to keep paying monthly till they fade away like my guilt snake.
I want to be angry with him. I want to ask why I lost all of my friends over this. I want to ask how it feels to be “right” because he’s the straight one. I want to be angry so badly but I don’t have it in me anymore. It feels like it would be easier to be angry than to admit that he’s never going to truly go away. The fact of the matter is that I’m always going to care for him. I’m always going to remember him. I am always going to hope the best for him.
But I don’t feel responsible for his future anymore. And you know what? I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.
The Changing of the Guard and Yet another Leak
My last round of updates left us at around July 6th with my dishwasher in parts and leaking all over the basement. That was finally patched on the 6th late. I felt poorly for the maintenance guy, it really wasn’t his fault, but he was fixing someone else’s mistake. The level of unprofessionalism that the Residences at Bexley Woods shows is really above and beyond anything I’ve ever experienced and that included really cheap college apartments in West Laf during my undergrad.
July was a frustrating month of false promise. To even begin to understand that, I’ll have to take a step back in time and explain three different management companies (since March when I moved in) New Life, Heather Glenn, and now McKinley have all taken up the “management” mantel. Each one seems to be doing a pretty poor job.
Called today. They had none of my “emergency” work orders in and the oldest of my work orders is slated as 14 days old. I suspect that either the orders didn’t get put into the system or they delete them after a certain age to they have “proof” that they are compliant with code. I am going to contact a code person on Monday and see if I can get someone to come out. This will be proof that they are not keeping up with their end of my lease agreement. I don’t want it to be my word against theirs.
I’m also going to send a work order notice in writing, certified and dated on Monday. Let’s see how they handle that.
All the pictures
Part One, Update 1, Update 2, Update 3, Part Two, Part Three, Update 4, Update 5