Bupropion Diaries – Still a Dreamer

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I’m finding on the Bupropion that I’m not sleeping as much as I used to. I tend to go to bed around 23:00 and get up around 4:00 or 5:00. Typically I roll over and fall back asleep, this, in turn, makes me late for work. I’m going to just start getting up altogether when I wake up first thing. I don’t feel as though I’m depressed as much as my bed is warm and has a snuggly puppy in it and work is devoid of both the comfort and the puppy. This half awake stage tends to make me dream a lot more vividly. At least it makes me remember them more.

Dream me tends to be whispy, I’ve realized. She’s small boned, pale, with dark hair (either black or dark brown). I don’t ever remember her face, if you’re into this whole dream thing that may mean something. I’m assuming she looks like me, but I could be wrong.

This time I was first in a home that my brain chose to model after my grandparent’s. It was on a lake with an open balcony, the same galley style kitchen, and the same blueish carpet in said kitchen. I was gathering with people to watch TV, a large man yelled at me and another person on a sofa that he didn’t want to sit at the side or share a sofa. In response I moved at the floor. Words were exchanged, but I can’t remember them.

Shortly after that a man who looked like one of those old school horror movie doctors walked in, white buttonup coat and everything. (As an aside, I’m glad that they opt for friendlier appearances these days. I deal with them too much to be scared of them, but damn, history) He and his orderlies ushered us out the back and into a smaller waiting room. There are about ten people clustered around a small room.

I’d bonded with one person in particular, though this dream was mostly blacks and whites, she was yellow and golden, just her hair, but it was enough. She kept close to  me and muttered to herself. I didn’t feel protected by her or like I needed to protect her, but there was a comfort in her. We huddled closer to each other than the other people in the room.

A doctor walked in and threw a pillow on the floor and asked me to show him how I slept. I was struck with how exposed I felt; confused, I didn’t think to question him so I laid down on my side. He wasn’t pleased with that, so I rolled to my stomach, and that wasn’t what he wanted either. Then I was taken to another room and put on an exam table. They lifted it up the the ceiling, and I remember being distinctly nervous. I wasn’t afraid, but I did feel really violated. He lowered me and they debated some things and I was lifted yet again. I began to struggle, stated I was done, then ran off.

Apparently out the nearest door was more of a vintage elevator lobby with a massive bathroom. I hid in a stall till I figured the coast was clear. When I ran out, I immediately felt like I was being chased, I ran into a room and began looking for clues, a key, a way out, and was followed. Then the lights went off and I took off out the door, only to see a blond man climb up a wall and vanish into the molding along the top by the ceiling.

I turned around and was in an elevator. Another blond man was there, and the… vampire/thing that was trying to catch either me, or the first blond man drove the second man deep into the lift and snapped his head off. I don’t remember a lot of blood, no screaming, just a body slumping against the wall of the lift.

Then I woke up.


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