A Relaxed Divorce: Part One

I’m going to basically discuss what is going on with my ongoing divorce. Because I’m on excellent terms with my ex and because we’re sharing a common goal, I feel like I’m far better off than most people experiencing this same issue. It’s important to mention that even though things are “going smoothly” emotionally this is a wrecking ball. If you’re going through this or something less “Smooth” please consider talking to someone. No one needs to go through major issues such as a divorce alone.

Despite the fact that my marriage was romantically over for some time, we are just now filing. To say that we don’t love each other would be as much a lie as saying that we are in love. There’s no hate involved in our mutual choice to break off the relationship. As far as dissolutions go, this is probably the most relaxed I’ve ever heard of. We have no children, just pets (and it’s a gut wrenching matter to talk about them, for the record).

What we do have is about 10 years of mutual debt and assets. This includes a home that is in both of our names. Officially we are at the hard part; Making the separation as fair as possible to both parties.

The first thing we did was locate a realtor to do a short sale on our home. Short sales are in the news a lot, and there are many good articles about them on the internet, so I won’t go into a long explanation.

In “short”, because we will no longer have two incomes, the house will no longer be affordable. Because we owe more than the home is worth, we will not be able to pay off the mortgage loan from the sale. To get the bank to accept this lower amount instead of what you really owe is called a “short sale”. You need a good reason for the bank to accept a short sale; these days “I don’t want to pay it” isn’t a good excuse. Most banks don’t include things like student loans/payments or even electricity/food when working out if you can “afford” your home, so be careful. Change of life events (not including having a baby, by the way) do tend to allow more leniencies.

Most short sales can take up to a year or even more to really get completed. It seems as mine is some sort of strange mutant power of one and less than a week after it was on the market there was an offer. The bank is slated to give us a decision on this offer by the end of the week.

This is where it gets stressful. I sat back and formulated a budget to get us both the best chance at getting back on our feet. My ex looked it over and he agreed to it. We planned to remain in our home till May (This was while most resources were leading us to believe we would probably have been able to remain in the home till August or September.) The crafted budget allowed us to bank our 1300 mortgage payment for three more months. Those three more months would turn into 3900 that would be used to pay off all of our small lingering joint debt.

Hopefully with the money from taxes and saved from not paying the mortgage for the time being, things will be fine. I’m not expecting to not struggle, but it would be utterly wondrous for us both to start our new lives without stressing about money on top of everything else.

I’ll prattle on more about the topic next week.



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